Interview with Teen Me: The B-52s Concert that Changed My Life
In which I interview my teen self about a B-52s concert on June 23, 1990, using material from my actual high-school diary.
Sadly, this issue was still two years in the future.
The day before the Concert that Changed Your Life, what did you do to keep your feverish fingers occupied?
“I bought a new journal at the mall, went to TCBY, and hung out reading two old issues of Sassy.”
What did you do later that night?
“Ran into [CRUSH NAME REDACTED] and his girlfriend at the church chicken dinner, called my best friend to cry, and watched a videotape of 120 Minutes.”
What did you wear to the B-52s concert?
“A red satin nightshirt tucked into a pair of shorts made of about six different kinds of material, a huge brown belt, black opaque tights, two different shoes (a black shoe with a white arrow on it and a plain Mary Jane), and a black hat with lobster and poodle pins on it.”
What did you change into later to write in your journal?
“Black leggings and a Deadbeat Club t-shirt.”
Say an embarrassing sentence about the opening act.
“We enter to the fiery, majestic reggae of Ziggy Marley and the Melody Makers.”
When the Bs finally graced the stage with their palliative presence, what were they wearing?
“Cindy’s wearing a floor-length black and silver dress; Keith has on the shirt he wore on Saturday Night Live and an absurd hat; Kate’s wearing an extremely short white dress with grapes and bananas and pineapples all over it; and Fred has on white tights, these red shorts that look like they’re made of plastic, a black t-shirt, and a white vest.”
May I commend you on your correct use of semicolons, even in a journal entry written at 3:14 a.m.?
“You may.”
Sample “Cute Little Keith Thing”: Levitating by a cactus in a shiny hat while giant lizards drop from the sky
Upon taking the stage, what did Keith Strickland start doing immediately to make you melt into a purple puddle of quirk?
“His ‘cute little Keith things’.”
Specifically?
“If you have to ask, you don’t deserve to know.”
Share a sentence that illustrates exactly how naive you were about the sexual orientations of middle-aged men in red plastic shorts.
“Kate Pierson and Fred Schneider have incredible chemistry.”
“Captain, my fifteen-year-old sensors detect nothing gay here.”
Now take that innocent thought-seed and grow it instantly into a giant Venus flytrap of existential despair.
“Fred is 36 and Kate is 42. And before you know it, he’ll be 46 and she’ll be 52. And 56 and 62, and 66 and 72, and THEN who’s going to care who they were in 1990? Or 1976, for that matter? Who’s going to take care of them? They have no children. Who’s going to take care of ANY OF US? Can we be sure we’re not going to die alone, rotting in some nursing home, no matter who we are? Can we make sure our names aren’t forgotten?”
Now say something hyperbolically optimistic.
“Being intensely into the B-52s has renewed my love for life and the human race.”
What did you do the day after the B-52s changed your life?
“Went to 12:15 Mass, rode my bike, watered plants, emptied the dishwasher, made lasagna for supper, saw [CRUSH] at the library, and came home and cried. I disgust myself.”
Authentic 1990 Deadbeat Club t-shirt, from the dark days when all t-shirts could double as a sail should you lose yourself at sea.
_______
I consider all of my teenage fandom experiences research for that time I wrote a book about it. Have a teen fandom experience you want to reminisce about here? Drop me a line at jclillisbooks at gmail and I’ll feature your story.
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you make me so happy.
this is sheer bliss.
i used to have a huge crush on keith, too—and it began with his bare feet in that video.
hilarious stuff, JC!