6 Short-Lived ’90s TV Shows Watched by Teens Desperate for Entertainment

So I was reading the 1992 Fall Preview Issue of TV Guide, as I am wont to do on a Friday night, and it was basically one forgotten treasure after another. Nineties kids might recall the excitement a chunky Fall Preview TV Guide could conjure: just page after page of new shows unblemished by rotten reviews and negligible Nielsens, their fresh-faced casts dreaming of primetime Emmys and syndication.

Most of these young-adult-themed shows didn’t make it past their freshman season but served as 1.) historical evidence of our cultural passion for high-waisted jeans and berets; and 2.) launchpads for Tobey Maguire, Hilary Swank, Gillian Anderson, and more.

Let’s observe a moment of silence (and, if applicable, nostalgia) in their honor.
 
 

1. Covington Cross

Diane Court is “deadly with a crossbow” and rocks a center part. All the extras’ costumes from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves get a second chance at life. Dudes with Balki hair glower in breeches.

2. Great Scott!

Starring The Luxurious Hair of Young Tobey Maguire, That Lady Who Plays the Mom in Everything, and a pre-Entourage Kevin Connolly, who was lucky enough not to be photographed for this. Fell prey to stiff competition from “CBS’s dreaded 60 Minutes” and died after 13 episodes.

3. Class of ’96

Yes, we sometimes wore berets with leather jackets in the 90s. Mine had a whimsical clock pin on it.

Yes, our oversized blazers sometimes threatened to swallow our hands.

Yes, boys sometimes wore belted jeans and ties together, but only for holiday Masses and dates where they might get laid.

And yes, shameful as it is to admit: some of us spent Saturdays posing wholesomely with peers in front of autumnal college-catalog backdrops. We did it to pay for our psych textbooks, not because we liked it.

Stare at this for 30 seconds without blinking and 10,000 Maniacs will start to play faintly in your inner ear.

BONUS: Holy shit, you guys, the theme song. Why don’t they have TV themes like this anymore, like DON’T THEY KNOW JOSH GROBAN NEEDS TO EAT.

BONUS 2: Gillian Anderson made her TV debut on this show and LOOK HOW CUTE SHE IS with her Blossom hat and half-eaten apple.

4. Going to Extremes

Med students stranded on a made-up island elect a leader solely on the strength of her fashionable braided belt. They regret it instantly when her mysterious “thumbs-up” incantation summons a vengeful six-headed sea beast that starts picking them off one by one.

…Fine, it’s Northern Exposure in Caribbean med school. Episode titles like “De Heart of De Matter” and “A Mon Needs a Maid” may explain why it lasted less than one season. (Hey, that’s Tom Paris from Voyager on the left!)

5. The Heights

Lesson from Television History: if you want your “youthful music-video soaper” to last more than 12 episodes, don’t cast the dude who pushed Donna Martin down the stairs.

6. Camp Wilder

Hilary Swank, Jerry O’Connell, and Tina Majorino are all impossibly young dorks. A hat rose threatens to upstage them all.

BONUS: California Dreams

*This doesn’t count as short-lived because IMDB tells me it lasted an incredible five seasons in its cozy Saturday morning slot, but I could not resist adding it because of this promo shot.
 

HELLO HERE IS OUR SURFBOARD AND THESE ARE OUR PALMS. WE SWEAR WE HAVE NEVER HEARD OF 90210.

You guys, I hope it’s not creepy to say that if I could do the 90s all over again, I’d want to jam in a garage and perform at a surf-side hangout with every one of you.

What’s your favorite short-lived 90s show? Weep for what we lost in the comments below.